18
Apr
Now for the PG-13 dreams.
House joins the army: In this dream, Hugh Laurie…no wait…Dr. Gregory House, arrives unexpectedly at a house on the beach. Inside the house is what looks like a company of British colonial army men, mostly in their early 20’s, wearing cool blue uniforms and playing cricket! House knocks. Army men open. House is dressed in blue as well. The soldiers immediately stand in attention and salute, assuming he’s a higher ranking officer.
House explains that he’s merely a private (in a hilarious British accent). The other army men grow suspicious of him and take of his cap to find a piece of cloth stuck to his head. Now in that weird dream universe, the cloth is supposed to be sown onto your scalp if you’re truly an army guy. But Houses’s one is just pasted there.
House is discovered to be an impostor! He switches back to his American accent (sadly 
), and explains that he has quit his job and wants to be an army doctor. The others laugh at him and want to throw him out. House then proceeds to do what House does best…on the spot diagnosis 
! He points at people and tells them what’s wrong with them. He even clicks his finger in front of a girl’s eyes (yes, the girls appear out of nowhere in the dream) and makes her faint.
Needless to say, people are impressed and House is accepted as the company doctor. He then proceeds to sit down on a couch, lie back, put his earphones in his ears and turn the television on.
Overhead camera pans away and onto the beach blanketed by a dark starlit sky.
This dream is not over yet.
Strange things are afoot on the beach. Wilson and the entire band of doctors, apparently depressed by House’s departure, have dressed up like Afghani militants, gotten drunk and playing war games on the beach. People are shooting blank rounds everywhere and just going fruity.
At the back of my head, I think, most probably the story will take a dark turn from here. The actual army guys would mistake these drunk ass doctors to be their enemies and kill a few before realizing that they’re just playing around.
Anyway, nothing of that sort actually happens. Wilson, in his stupor goes up to Jennifer Aniston (yes.lol.she’s in a bikini too) and declares that they should all go to Africa (which apparently is only an hour away if they swim). Aniston laughs and shrugs off the silly idea.
After that, a new dream begins.
18
Apr
13
Apr
I am an interviewer. My non-existent,tall and green eyed friend has a twin. And to play a prank on me, they exchange places just before the interview, so the twin I don’t know is standing outside while her sister, whom I do know comes and sits in for the interview.
Anyway, I’m too smart for their tricks and begin what seems to be an open and shut interview. There’s some discussion over glass half full and half empty and I just go ahead and fill the fucking glass to the brim.
Interview ends. Girl gets in.
Twin is standing outside. I pass a coy smile at both of them. They immediately realize that I knew all along.
We go to a dhaba to celebrate, with khatiyas and all! Suddenly it’s the twins,myself and Vanga (lol) sitting around the dinner table at the dhaba (no idea what happened to the khatiyas). The waiter is this huge Punjabi guy who says we need to either spend the night here or pay atleast 200 Rs. for the food. I laugh inside my head and say that it wont be an issue.
Vanga orders 2 kinds of dal.
My alarm goes off.
Trippy Tuesday begins.
10
Apr
Last night I got piss drunk.
Puked multiple times.
And before passing out, set out on path of self-destruction.
But the dreams I had were weirder than reality.
As always.
The dream started off with some guy asking to rent adult videos. I pointed out that the TV had an option for adult shows. We started watching one Japanese adult movie. It was a vampire show and began with rugged, topless, punk looking vampire chicks and dudes injecting themselves with vials of blood in some abandoned gas station in the middle of the desert.
Soon I was inside the show as well…as a vampire. Just as we were about to leave, a portal opened and out spilled a whole legion of holy warriors, completely covered in golden armour, who looked like they had just fought for the crusades or something. It was simple. They had come to annihilate us. I ran for my life. And I was chased by them.
I entered an abandoned house. It was daylight outside by now. They kept chasing up this huge mansion like house. After a point I quietly sneaked to another parallel staircase and started climbing down. This whole sequence was very tense and seemed never ending. Finally I made my way outside, leaving the crusaders to search for me inside the house.
Outside it had started to rain so there wasn’t any direct sunlight. I ran around searching for shelter from the brightness. Weirdly enough I found myself riding on an office chair. I rode to a nearby store where some black dudes gave me shelter in exchange for the office chair. We were back in movie mode now. As I passed out inside my dream again, as a vampire and an observer, I asked them to turn off the lights and said to them ,”I’ve seen this movie before. You’re gonna give me guns now.”
I woke up inside my dream into another dream.
In this dream I was in someone’s home. And one of their two dogs had recently passed away. I could hear a lot of weeping from outside. Then to my surprise it was actually a Tibetan Terrier that was weeping like a human. He snuck his head through the door. Our eyes met. He was literally weeping tears and sounded like an old woman crying. I gestured him to come in. He did. I hugged him and started wiping his tears away.
I don’t remember much after that.
Today’s gonna be a super weird day for sure. I must begin the process of damage control now. But first…some hydration.
26
Mar
Last night’s dream was all about Scrabble and Casinos.
In it me, Ankur and Pari were back in Casino land. I was seeing tiles of words everywhere. At one point I even saw my friends from Indore smoking together (the surroundings they were in was definitely a superimposed image of the military complex where my aunt resides in Calcutta). There was also some confusion over an Arabic women’s pop group that suddenly came on stage and me and Ankur were able to recognize them for some odd reason. Fountains of water erupted all around when they started to sing; some of the streams pointed directly at our faces. Odd design for a fountain;I’d personally never design a fountain that shitty.
After that, even I performed on stage. My act was an illusion of numbers. I even made a corny joke when I took the stage,”Indians are rather infamous for their inclination towards math and computers. This act isn’t gonna help to change that.” I then proceeded to generate numbers out of thin air (much like the ones on your LCD clock, only glowing blue) that I expanded, contracted and spiraled around my body. In my dream universe, Christian Bale had apparently been murdered. So I then went ahead to create a 3D holographic reenactment of his death in great detail. It was pretty disturbing 0_o.
I can’t remember other elements of the dream, but the scrabble tiles kept popping up from time to time. I remember crazy fans trying to track me down after my performance. And a cafe that had many exits, but only one that was open.
25
Mar
Last night’s dream was pretty cool.
It started off with me planning a Japan trip with my Indore friends.
Soon after we realized that one of our friends had been kidnapped. By Australia 0_o. Tasmania specifically. And that they were going to launch nuclear weapons on India. Hahaha. It then became my mission to get him back.
But the cool part is…in this dream, I could fly ! Unlike my last dream where I could only float from place to place, I was flying high in this dream. At the same time, I realized that I shouldn’t let people know that I could fly, so I’d shoot up into the air so that they wont have a chance to see my face or anything.
I’m not quite sure though what happened to my friend, because I certainly didn’t fly all the way to Australia to save him .
Anyway, later on…I was suddenly talking to Johnny Drama and Vinnie Chase (ala Entourage) and we were discussing our own Japan trip plans. Evil bastard that I am…even in my dream, I knowingly ditched my plan with my Indore buddies to go with the Entourage crew instead…because I knew it would be awesome and wild .
The dream also involved a sequence where I’m driving Johnny and Vinnie on the wrong side of the road in some weird ass vintage automobile.
7
Mar
Some of the dreams I have are just so politically incorrect.
Last night I dreamt that there were huge ass snakes attacking a lab facility and me and some scientist type folks were shooting at them. Well, one giant grey snake broke through into the labs and got in contact with some weirdass mutated virus strain (that were like yellow, blue and red balls, bouncing around). The snake then transformed and split into many parts. Each part morphed into a 10 year old child.
These kids were obviously the 28 Days Later style zombie kids that could infect you too. They started marching across a bridge and I knew that it was my job to stop them no matter what. Someone handed me a champagne bottle to stop em with (lol). I shook bottle and popped the cork in their direction. The cork flew over their heads, ricocheted off the bridge railing and hit one of the kids in the head.
Immediately, all of them turned around and started coming in my direction. Panic ensued and the scientists frenzied for cover,weapons, whatever they could find. Lying all around us were only cricket bats! So we each took one and started whacking the crap outta any infected kid that approached us. At the back of my head I was thinking, what if I accidentally whack a normal kid? Anyway, in the heat of it, it didn’t exactly matter. We whacked and back stepped all the way to an MRT station and kept whacking at infected kids until we got into the train. The kids seemed almost impervious to our swings and blows and kept coming at us until the train doors closed.
The dream’s conclusion was that due our failure to contain the kids, the virus eventually spread all across the world.
Nice dream to wake up to on a Sunday morning huh?
26
Feb
Last night I dreamt that I had gotten extremely drunk and completely blacked out and forgotten what had happened the night before.
I was out with Shanty and Pari when they told me that I had apparently hooked up with some girls the night before. While we were walking we actually ran into the girls from last night but I didn’t remember any of them. One of them quickly approached me and asked me why I was looking at her as if I’d never met her. I confessed that I had no recollection of the night before. Or of her. She laughed and put her hand in mine and we started walking.
She was really pretty, a lot prettier than her friends. She said her name was Shweta (I think). We started talking about random things. It felt very nice. And strangely warm. After a while I think I realized that I was carrying a pet dog on my shoulders while holding her hand. The dog was a white furry one. Really cute.
We were walking at some weird place, I can’t say where…but it had something to do with SMRT (weird dream logic). It was kinda like a path/walkway through a park, only not at ground level. I put the dog down and he ran away somewhere. We followed him and soon came to a place with another dog there. Only this one was a labrador and was dead. There was a branch protruding through the dead dog’s stomach. I quickly picked up our little white dog and we started to go away.
Anyway, it was a super pleasant dream up until we came across the dead dog. I remember I had woken up in the middle of the night and actually typed out some shit on notepad so that I didn’t forget the dream. Unfortunately, I did forget. Because I wrote down the words “spider” , “clown” & “ate sushi for 7 days” and I can’t remember either of these now.
*Sigh*